2009 Smörgåsbord

Note from Lumzo:  Okay so I really did start this post in the beginning of December, but because I've been busy/lazy, I've put it off till now, which in turn has significantly delayed other entries that are queuing up.  So let's just pretend that I posted this in December (so I don't have to cheat and alter the time stamp).  Also don't mind the random jumping from topic to topic - it's called a smörgåsbord for a reason.


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Well it's December, and the 2009 clock is standing on it's last leg. Where has the time gone? Since the remainder of the year is winding down, I figured I'd let you in on a weird dream I had the other day. We all know how saturated our lives are with technology and the privileges we maintain with instantaneous knowledge and power at the tips of our fingers. And what do our fingertips touch? Smart phones. They're aptly named such because well, they're smarter than most people you'd find on the street. They can do just about anything your little heart desires, which is where I segue into my dreams.


Dream 1:  Gghost

So the other day I dreamed (dreamt? For some reason Blogger thinks 'dreamt' is not a word, though I'm pretty certain it is, but I digress...) that I had gotten a hold of a new prototype application that Google was working on. I was searching through their Google Labs and found one marked 'Gghost' - which at the time I thought was kind of redundant. Why not just name it Ghost? I guess it's because Google puts their patented "G" in front of all their applications (Gchat, Gmail, Gwave etc.) much like Apple puts their lowercase "i" in front of all their products.  Anyway, the point of the application was to have a portable device that could detect demons, ghosts, and any other nasties that might be lurking amongst the living wreaking havoc, chaos, death and destruction, oh my! The device resembled a torch which oddly enough, was powered by tealights. To operate the Gghost, you simply shined the beam around the room and any demonic apparition would appear as a darkened shadowy blur. You'd be surprised as to how many unholy wraiths were actually roaming the Earth undetected. Armed with my new ghostbusting toy, and magically finding myself in a conveniently haunted mansion, I swept through room after room finding demons of all shapes and sizes - and even some possessing my living fleshy companions.  Dr. Peter Venkman would've been proud.

Dream 2:  iPredator
Oddly enough, I had another quite memorable dream towards the end of December.  This time instead of dreaming about Google, I dreamed about Apple.  Yes, THE Apple, Inc.  What about?  Well it was their latest and greatest application: The iPredator.  For those of you who aren't aware, the Predator is an unmanned aerial vehicle (UAV) currently in use by our armed forces to patrol the skies and conduct aerial strikes, without having to put human pilots in the line of fire.  The iPredator (which cost a cool $0.99 from the App Store) allowed anyone who had an iPhone to remotely control a Predator drone and conduct their own surveillance.  The app never let you actually own a Predator, it just allowed you access to a UAV that apparently Apple had stocked up on, and whose fleet was stationed somewhere in the bay area.  All I remember about the dream was driving to work on my morning commute and seeing thousands of Predator drones flying high above 80/580...evidently everyone was using their UAV to check up on the morning traffic.

Pedicures
Towards the end of December, I got my very first pedicure (Let's pause for the shock/laughter to die down.  Finished?  Good, let's proceed).  It was a little weird for me at first (surprisingly enough, I wasn't the only guy there), but as soon as I put my little piggies into the whirlpool and set my chair to full massage, I was in heaven.  And damn did it feel good.  I left with my feet feeling light and rejuvenated, adorned with the manliest color of them all - clear.

Memes
All you'll ever need to know about them.  There's some pretty hilarious stuff out there, and with names like "Philosoraptor" it's pure comedy gold.  And I don't care what the haters say, I pronounce it as "Me Me's" not "Meems."