Writing advertisements is the second most profitable form of writing...

...the first is a ransom note.


**DISCLAIMER** The following contains content that may not be suitable for children or very innocent adults. Reader discretion advised.


This entry has been pushed back for awhile, so I figured I'd better just write it or else I'd never get to it. So recently I've been watching more TV than normal, and I've come to realize that there are some pretty great ads out there. It doesn't need to be said that the majority of advertisements are pretty crappy... but it's the rare awesome ads that I want to focus on. For example, a rare gem are the Comcast ads. Words of wisdom illustrated by completely random and often hilarious scenarios. In the words of a crappier advertisement, brilliant! There are two advertisements that I saw the other day that have stuck with me. The first is the Discovery channel advertisement about how awesome the world is. You can't help but feel nice and warm when you hear the song. Apparently it's an old camp song, but that doesn't change it's awesomeness. Especially if you're an avid Discovery Channel watcher and can recognize some of the hosts who sing in it. The commercial is this generation's hippie song (I really can't think of a good hippie example...maybe Kumbaya?) And if you don't believe me in the brilliance of Discovery Channel' advertisements, try this one, and this one, and this one.

Not all advertisements go for humor or warm happy goodness. Some display its genius in more subtle ways. And what's more subtle than a lingerie clad model whose...ahem...eyes...yeah eyes...have the power to stop a man dead in his tracks. It's really quite simple actually. To make an effective advertisement, all you need is someone with long flowing hair, perfectly colored skin, eyes that seem to stare straight into your soul, soft supple lips, and a great set of...um...personalities... What was I talking about? No matter. The point is that Victoria's Secret' new bra, the new Dream Angels with memory fit, is a very effective and well crafted advertisement. Why? Look at the commercial. Doesn't that look like the most comfortable thing on the planet? I don't even have boobs and I think that wearing one of those would be like floating on a sea of soft memory foam (which by the way, is probably one of the greatest inventions ever. They should put memory foam into everything). What's softer than a supple breast? A supple breast cradled in memory foam, that's what. It's like airbags for your...well...airbags. Genius. It reminds me of one of those Bud light commercials. In fact, now I want to try doing one of my own. Enjoy.

Today, we salute you, Mr. Memory Foam Bra Inventor
(Mr. Memory Foam Bra Inventor)
You've done what man has only dreamed of,
making a soft supple breast, even softer.
(Feels like a pillow)
You slaved away tirelessly trying to add new things:
Tin foil. Sandpaper. None of which seemed to work.
(Ouch, ouchie, ouch, ouch)
Until one day you decided, lets give a pillow,
to those chest pillows.
(Posturepedic goodness)
So crack open a nice cold Budweiser beer, oh master of the mammaries,
because when it comes to the chest, you're the best.


Wow...quite possibly the weirdest/lewdest post yet.