Goodbye old friend

When I started writing this entry, I was going to talk about all the stress and crap that's been going on with me at work. And while this past month has definitely pushed me to the limits, things just seem so trivial now. An old friend and former co-worker passed away this morning, which came to the shock of practically everyone who I've spoken to. Today's world is so busy and frantic that the frailty of life seems so distant, that we're so far removed from it all that when reality finally catches up with us, it completely knocks us to the floor. Honestly, I think I'm still in shock. He was only 24 years old, the world at his feet. I don't think I've ever felt such a great sense of mortality. While we've grown apart this past year, the world is a lesser place now. I'm reminded of a quote from Arthur Schopenhauer:

"The deep pain that is felt at the death of every friendly soul arises from the feeling that there is in every individual something which is inexpressible, peculiar to him alone, and is, therefore, absolutely and irretrievably lost."

Life is a very precious thing, something that we all take for granted. It's times like these where we really have to stop and think about what really matters to us. Live every day to the fullest, because there are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go.

Rest in peace, old friend.

Chaos in the world brings uneasiness...

...but it also allows the opportunity for creativity and growth. I’d like to think that amidst all this chaos and stress that I’m being given the chance to explore my creativity and grow in both a personal and professional manner. Yet it seems like the only thing I’ve been creative in is how to mess up my experiments. I’ve been given the daunting task of processing very precious samples harvested from very expensive monkeys, in order to give the Company a clearer picture on which candidate drug is better. As my boss likes to put it, I’ve been here for a little over three months and I’ve already been thrown in the deep end. For the most part, my experiments have gone well, except for a few samples which are being quite difficult. These problems have in turn slowed me down, and it’s almost certain that I will not be able to finish the experiment in its entirety by the Feb. 1^st deadline. While my boss and fellow teammates understand the situation and support me, I can’t help but feel that, despite the massive volume of work and the almost-impossible time frame to achieve it in, I could have done better. Then again, it’s not over till it’s over, and I still have time before my trip to Asilomar. My thumb is primed and ready to pipette. Bring it.

And on a random note, a milestone occurred while coming to work today.

It’s funny how the little things like watching all those 9’s roll to 0’s can make morning traffic a wee bit more tolerable.

Weekend!

So it's finally the weekend...woohoo! After a long week at work, doing nothing but transferring samples, RNA extraction, cDNA synthesis, and real-time PCR, I'm looking forward to a nice and relaxing weekend. The rest of my month will consist of everything I did this week, just in greater amounts. But one thing that will help ease the process, is my newly found anthem, found by one of my coworkers.

Warning: it is quite nerdy, and I'm sure only science people will appreciate it. But then again, this is what I do for a living, so you're just going to have to bear with me =)

Linky

HRT

In a previous post, I mentioned that a new beginning is caused by an old beginning coming to an end. For some, those words couldn't be any more true. It's tough when you lose a significant other. It's tougher when they're your best friend. And it's incalculable when your best friend decides that it's time to call a quits on the friendship and goes about erasing you from existence. Heartaches can cause even the most rational people to go completely insane, and when you're not completely rational to begin with (which pretty much covers every single person out there), the effects of a breakup can cause you to do unthinkably cold and cruel things. I can't imagine being able to say to someone that I truly loved, that I wish they had never existed, and that whatever time in the past that we shared together, has been erased. Just like that. With a snap of a finger, years vanish, and memories disappear faster than Britney Spears' sanity. I guess for some it's easier to be black and white, and hurt others so that they can share in your pain. I don't think there is anything you can really say when someone has decided that those actions are their only option. You can only hope that one day, they'll realize that a breakup isn't the end of the world, that when the pain finally fades, you can still be friends. For those of you out there who feel like you have no other option, I hope this quote can help enlighten you.

If I had the letters "HRT", I can add "EA" to get a "HEART" or a "U" and get "HURT". But I'd rather choose "U" and get "HURT" than have a "HEART" without "U"

Rain rain go away!

I normally don't mind the rain. Except when it decides to screw with my afternoon. Instead of enjoying myself and relaxing, I had to be outside in the freezing cold getting soaked because the rain clogged up the drains in the backyard. So it was up to me and my dad to sweep away the water before it got too high. 2 hours + 1 broken broom + soaked clothes = victory! One plus was seeing my dad try and squeeze his way into my sister's boots. Classic.

Every New Beginning...

...comes from another beginning's end. It seems very fitting to start off the New Year with a new blog, a fresh start; tabula rasa as they say. Perhaps this is one of my futile attempts to actually stick to a resolution I so naively thought up of on a whim, or perhaps this is my inner-self finally breaking free and declaring my internal struggles in a glorious uproar of chaos... well, it's most likely neither of them. My guess is it's because I'm damned bored and have nothing better to do. It's not that I have all this free time on my hands, far from it. I'm actually dreading this month due to the sheer volume of work that needs to be done, and the daunting task of being in charge of processing samples that are worth more money than my life (according to the Company's life insurance policy). On top of that, I have the MCATs to worry about and of course the wonderfully delightful AMCAS apps that will surely take whatever sanity I have left and pulverize it into a frigid sanity-smoothie. Perhaps 2008 won't be as cracked up as I might hoped it would be. We're only 5 days into 2008 and already I've heard news that two of my relatives have passed away. What a way to start it off...oh well...c'est la vie...or in this case, c'est la mort. Either way, 2008 is going to one wild year. So lift up your mugs and give a toast for new beginnings!