High School Drama Files: Episode #2 - Splinter

Teenage self:

When I was heart with a splinter, Your blood kept me alive...That is, until I began showing you my gratitude, the depths of my heart, the passions of my soul.  Then was the time where I began to lose you, pushing you away with my kindness, destroying what we had with my gifts of affection...I killed you with my kindness, I destroyed "us" with my love...And now when I am that heart with that splinter, you are no longer there to keep my alive...

29 year old self:

Well that's kind of depressing - in a soap opera kind of way.  What the hell was I thinking?

When I was heart with a splinter, Your blood kept me alive...
Definitely lyrics from the song "Crystal Clear" by Jaci Velasquez.  For some reason I was really into a couple of her songs in high school - mainly "Crystal Clear" and "Imagine Me Without You."  I guess at the time I didn't realize that she was a contemporary Christian artist and that while her lyrics sounded like really romantic stuff, she was really talking about her relationship with God.  Whoops!  

That is, until I began showing you my gratitude, the depths of my heart, the passions of my soul.  Then was the time where I began to lose you, pushing you away with my kindness, destroying what we had with my gifts of affection...
I'm pretty sure this was another classic "woe is me" moment where I'd pity myself and make myself a martyr because a dumb high school relationship didn't pan out.  Drama king much?

I killed you with my kindness, I destroyed "us" with my love...And now when I am that heart with that splinter, you are no longer there to keep my alive...
One word:  hyperbole.  No I didn't really kill you with my kindness.  You probably got bored - we were teenagers.  Boredom was our essence.  And how does one destroy love with love?  Isn't that like killing kittens with cuteness?  The depths of the teenage mind are staggering.  And I'm obviously still alive today so I guess that splinter wasn't too bad after all.  In fact, it probably wasn't even a splinter at all.  My relationship turmoil was probably more like a paper cut - an insignificant wound to my overall health, but damn did it hurt like hell at the time.  

High School Drama Files: Episode #1 - Hot Cocoa

Teenage self:

"Relationships are like a cup of hot cocoa.  It's hot and steamy in the beginning, but if you rush into it too fast, you'll get burned. However, if you take it nice and slow, you get to enjoy every sweet bit of it. But as time goes on, that heat begins to fade, and slowly there is less and less for you to enjoy. And when you finally reach the end of it, the empty glass, you find yourself wanting more..."

29 year old self:

I honestly don't remember the catalyst of what caused me to write such a profound and insightful interpretation of love at such a young age.  Maybe in another life I was a great philosopher, spending his days and nights questioning the great questions, pondering the great ponders, and thinking the great thinks thoughts.  I guess I was just wise beyond my years.    

At the time, I was trying to be vague in the exact reason of why I posted this (and admittedly I still do this today).  Partly because I don't want to impose my problems on the rest of the world and partly because I think a little bit of mystery often intrigues others to ask what's going on and therefore provides myself a manufactured and artificial reason to express my tortured, angsty soul.  What a bunch of drivel. 

But I digress.  Let's break down the teenage post and see if it still holds up.

Relationships are like a cup of hot cocoa.
I was really into metaphors - I mean who doesn't like a well crafted analogy from time to time?

It's hot and steamy in the beginning, but if you rush into it too fast, you'll get burned.
I still agree with this today.  It's natural to want to jump into a relationship feet first, when everything is so new and exciting.  It's hot and steamy (read: passionate and amorous) and can often lead to reaching relationship milestones at break-neck speeds.  Occasionally this works out just fine for the couple, but more often than not, going too fast in a new relationship often leads to crashing hard.

However, if you take it nice and slow, you get to enjoy every sweet it of it.
Again I agree with this statement.  Speaking from experience, building a strong foundation takes time and effort and that can't be done if you're rushing into things.  Rome wasn't built in a day after all.  And it's both fun and exciting getting to know someone - their likes/dislikes, favorite activities and food, and their thoughts on who would win in a battle between Darth Vader and Superman (Superman obviously).    

But as time goes on, that heat begins to fade, and slowly there is less and less for you to enjoy. 
I think this is where my angst was turned up to 11.  The passion and heat of being in a relationship doesn't necessarily fade with time, nor does it mean that there is less and less of the things in the relationship to enjoy either.  However I do think that as I've grown up I don't think that relationships are fairy tales, rather I see them in a more practical, logical, and realistic view.  It takes a lot of effort to make a relationship last.  If passion starts to fade due to monotony and routine, then its up to you and your partner to continuously strive to improve things.  The moment you stop doing trying (do or do not, there is no try) in a relationship is the moment it starts to fade.  I fully admit that in my hormone-driven teenage years, I flip-flopped from being super optimistic to super pessimistic quicker than, well, flip flops (or something else that equally flip-flops frequently).  Perhaps at the time of writing, I was longing for a companion or smoldering over a recently lost beau - which made me pessimistic regarding the complexity and authenticity of high school puppy love.

And when you finally reach the end of it, the empty glass, you find yourself wanting more..."
Yes and no.  There have been times in my life where after a relationship has ended, I've found myself wanting to be in another.  Sometimes you want that second cup of cocoa.  You want that sweetness and that feeling of comfort and serenity.  And other times I have just wanted to be free and focus on nothing but myself.  A second cup of cocoa?  Do you want diabetes?  Because that's how you get diabetes.  It really just depends on the person, timing, and circumstances.  I think part of me is and always will be a hopeless romantic.  I've always been that way, even in high school.  And honestly, I will probably always view the idea of love, romance, and relationships through rose colored glasses.  But how could I not?  After all, who doesn't enjoy a nice cup of hot cocoa?