L.A.R.P.

Live Avatar Role Playing.  It just fit too well with my previous post to pass up.

Avatar: Horny Guy Edition

[Note from Lumzo:  I guess this is a recurring theme but this entry may seem dated because I started writing it a month or so ago and never got around to finishing it.  So just pretend that everything you're about to read is still pop culturally relevant.]

We all know that James Cameron' Avatar is the biggest movie of all time - grossing well over $2B worldwide. I'm not going to dive into the plot or characters of the movie, or even the visuals for that matter, rather I'd like to focus on the idea that drives the movie - the avatar itself.  The premise is simple: a human connects his/her mind to a machine which allows them to take control over an alien body, which they can then use to manipulate/interact with the hazardous world around them.  An avatar allows a person to experience something without having to actually experience it.  Kind of like virtual realities, or video games, or movies for that matter (I guess watching Avatar lets you experience what it would be like to hook your mind up to a machine that lets you experience what it would be like to walk around Pandora without having to experience the experience of the experience of walking around in Pandora?  Great scott, I think the time/space continuum just cracked!)  Anyway, it's basically a voyeur's dream come true.  Get the experience, without actually experiencing it.  But I've stumbled upon something greater than Avatar.  I've discovered the voyeur's wet dream.

Enter Secret Girlfriend.  It's Comedy Central's little known "web-series-turned-tv-series" or as I like to call it "Avatar: Horny Guy Edition".  The premise of the show, much like the premise of the movie, is simple: the star of the show is you.  The show is filmed in first person (though technically the narrative is second person) and the camera pans through all the experiences that you and your buddies go through - which coincidentally always revolves around scantily clad women.  Each episode is cut into 2 mini episodes designed to give you the experience of the common, everyday situations that normal guys run into; meeting a hot girl at the gym who you and your buddies think is a pornstar based on the tramp stamp on her lower back, deciding to solve the mystery of her pornstar name, going on a date with her, ending up having a threesome with her and her pornstar roommate, and finally deriving her pornstar name from the most obvious of clues - her pet's name and the street she lives on.  It's definitely a feel-good show for the lonely horny men out there; a 22 minute luscious oasis from the harsh dry desert of reality.  The viewer gets to experience everything a 13-year old boy could ever imagine, without ever having to leave their parent's basement, because honestly, there's not even a snowball's chance in hell that anything one sees/hears/does on the show could ever happen to anyone in real life.  Though I'd choose Jessica over Neytiri any day.  10-foot tall smurfs just don't do it for me.  Maybe I'm just a speciesist/colorist.