Some people are like slinkies...

...not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

You know who is a slinky? Joshua Jackson. Yup, little Pacey McStupid from Dawson's Creek. Instead of going on this huge long rant on my personal dislikes about everything that is JJ, I'll leave it to a quick summary that mainly focuses on his recent piece of crap...Fringe. Okay, so I guess my frustrations shouldn't be aimed at the actor per say, rather the writers who think this nonsensical piece of garbage has any shred of common sense or logic. They throw around ideas that seem great, but if you have an IQ higher than that of a rock, certain things just don't seem to fit. Not only is the writing bad, but the visuals are even worse. I'm not talking about the CGI or other special effects - those are decent for a television series. I'm talking about little things that try and make the show more intense or unique, but only end up distracting and ultimately annoying the viewer. So I've created a list of 5 things I hate about Fringe. It's sad that after only watching the pilot episode, I already have a list of hate.

5 Things I Hate About Fringe:

5. Jackson's character. This dubbed 'genius' is a nobody who knows he's smart and thus flashes his IQ around like it's a badge. He's a wanderer and a faux-con artist. He's a nobody. The only reason why he's in the show is because his dad is the only person in the world who can help the FBI deal with "The Pattern." He's not an FBI agent, yet he is content in trying to play one, and goes about doing FBI related things - like breach an entrypoint in an abandoned warehouse. The funny thing is, no one on the show seems to realize that he's not an FBI agent. Case in point, Jackson's character is wearing a visitor badge yet he is able to walk through an FBI personnel only door, and into an unlocked interrogation room where the supposed evil mastermind of a flesh-dissolving compound is being held. He then goes postal on said mastermind's hand without being noticed. In the words of Chief Wiggum: "That's some fine detective work there, Lou."

4. The ability of an interdepartmental FBI liaison to have the power to ascertain any equipment, chemical, facility that a mentally institutionalized patient requests without having to go through any type of acquisition form/request. They reopened a derelict lab in the basement of Harvard, brought in a cow, pulled images from a dead girls optic nerve, and then just for kicks decided to make LSD. Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

3. Random flashes/cutaways/bad edits/lens flares. There are enough of these in the pilot episode to make a blind person go into epileptic shock. True story.

2. Fringe = LOST wannabe. Yes I know J.J. Abrams created Alias and LOST, but come on, Fringe was supposed to be this radical new show; this generation's X-Files or something. I guess J.J. really took it to heart with that whole 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it' expression. There's classic LOST elements at every stinkin turn. The most prominent LOST ripoff is the music. Every suspenseful part is accompanied by increased music volume which suddenly cuts into commercial. The fading/increasing is exactly the same in every type of situation, and it even sounds the same. Fringe not only took the same music techniques, I'm pretty sure it took the music itself. It tries to be the same without being the same. One show is a geniuine Mickey Mouse shirt while the other is a cheap Asian knockoff labeled Miokey Mouse.

1. FLOATING MOTHERF--KING TITLES! It may have been cool to use in Panic Room, but now they're just annoying. They add nothing to the show and are pretty distracting. It looks like they're trying to blend the titles into the scenary - as if to portray that they're a physical object in the scene that you'd think the characters would acknowledge. Nope. They just float along looking like a cheap WordArt logo.

The only reason to watch Fringe is to see shit like this:

Yup...That's his jaw melting off.

Some days are a waste of makeup.

Today was just one of those days. The kind of day where you things just seem to get worse as time goes on. To sum it up, I made stupid mistakes that culminated to my coworker having to redo her experiment. It was a n00b mistake, and one that I should never have made. To make matters worse, the whole situation put me in a funk for the rest of the day, and I just couldn't get my head back in the game. More stupid mistakes arose and pretty soon replacements had to be called, and I was officially sidelined. I guess the stars just weren't aligned in my favor. It happens to everyone, or so I was told repeatedly by anyone who could see that I was distressed. But as Churchill once said, "If you're going through Hell, keep going." In case that quote was too inspirational, how about one from Ani Difranco. "Maybe you don't like your job, maybe you didn't get enough sleep. Well nobody likes their job, and nobody gets enough sleep.  Maybe you just had the worst day of your life, but you know, there's no escape, there's no excuses. Just suck it up and be nice." Imagine that quote with a cute picture of a kitten doing chinups. Awesome.

EDIT 9/19:

Looks like yall won't have to imagine the kitten after all.  Behold the awesomeness.  Thanks Muellerette for the pic!

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged...

...to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.

So it's been a long time since I've updated this thing, and I think the quote above holds a lot of significance. Blogging/journalism or whatever you want to call it, leaves an unbiased history of ones mindset at a particular point in time. It's enlightening at times to go back through the annals of your own history and observe just how drastically you've actually changed.

OKAY seriously, it's taken me way too long to write this entry. It's been on "draft" mode for almost a month. I have this whole potpourri list of things that I was going to write about, but now that I've procrastinated so long, I'm pretty sure most of it is out-dated. So this is the quick and dirty recap. No more bullshit. I wanted to write something substantial, but this whole time I've pretty much been suffering from writer's constipation (metaphorically speaking of course). My only hope is that if I strain really hard to push this entry out, future entries will let flow freely like...well you get the point. With that said, lets get this show in the road.


2008 Beijing Olympics:

So I was originally going to write about them, but time has come and gone, and it's way too late to start writing about past events. Plus I'm pretty sure everyone is Olympic-ed out, at least for another 4 years. Besides, you know the saying, a picture is worth a thousand words. So let's get several thousand words out of the way:

All hail white bikinis, wet bodies, tight abs, tighter asses, and beach volleyball cheerleaders. Let us not forget our international friends. All hail hot Paraguayan javelin throwers.

Work life:

What can I say about work. I'm pretty sure it's a love/hate sort of relationship, and that many if not all people experience that with their job. I think the work that I'm doing is great, and I'm glad that I'm getting to learn new things and get the much needed experience. But at the same time, the commute sucks, the hours are long, and lately, there's been way too much drama. It's like high school all over again. It's time to grow up and start acting like adults. Throwing tantrums, ignoring the problem, and telling flat out lies are unacceptable at any age. But despite all the crap, I think I'd still come just for my coworkers. They've come to accept me as one of their own, and though I am the baby, it's nice to be a part of that family.

Social life:

What social life? Work life is my social life... for the most part at least. But when I'm not chained to the lab bench or my cubicle computer, I try and flutter my social wings. There have been several events that have been quite memorable. One particular event that stands out involved camping, booze, and a dislocated knee. There's nothing like spending 5 hours in a hospital to get you back in touch with nature. I've also been partying it up with my Dvax crew, and surprisingly, got solicited by one of my friends. It pretty much went as follows:

X: I have a fear of dying a virgin.
X: When I'm like 85 (and still a virgin) and you're 84 (and if you're single/widowed)...I'm gonna call you on my 85th birthday
X: Be prepared!!
Me: LOL! Will do.
X: w00t!

What can I say, I'm a Picasso beneath the sheets, and everyone wants a piece of me. Reservations are available, though seating is limited.


...wow...even I can't believe I just wrote that. This entry just needs to be put out of its misery. Hopefully the writers constipation is over, because this has got to be the biggest literary piece of crap I've ever produced.