...of a horizontal desire ;)
And so comes the end of another weekend. It was nice to find time to relax, unwind and above all else, to party. Birthdays come around only once a year, so you should always pull out all the stops to ensure a memorable (even if you don't actually remember it) night filled with debauchery and drunken goodness. Dinner festivities at a local brewery, and physical festivities at club Avalon. While the atmosphere was filled with lots of eye candy, in the end, nothing terribly exciting happened. Kind of like this entry. FAIL!
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Stress is...
...the confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.
This is how stress makes me feel:
This is also what happens when I get bored in the lab. =P
This is how stress makes me feel:
This is also what happens when I get bored in the lab. =P
Saturday, March 1, 2008
The manner in which one endures what must be endured...
...is far more important than the actual thing that must be endured.
It's a very tough world that we live in, and despite its total cliche-ness, it doesn't change the fact that it's true. As a young adult, whom has relatively little experience in the grand scheme of life, I can't help but feel that my naiveness is the crux for both my profound optimism and ignorance.
For the past week, I've felt several battles rage within me. The first, a war on the microscopic battlefield. An army of viruses vs. my army of killer T's, Macs, and B's...armed to the teeth with a plethora of antibodies. I suffered some casualties, but have since recovered. The other battle, didn't have such a clear cause and effect. It was one of those emotional roller coaster rides that you always hear about, but without any real trigger. Just little things here or there that'd make me really stop and think about the differences between what I want in life and what I'm getting in life.
One aspect of my life where I'm facing a "what I want vs. what I'm getting" struggle is regarding my hopes of becoming a doctor. It's one of the few things that seems so constant, so unwaivering, so steadfast. It's one of the few things that I believe I'd be good at, and something that I'd look forward to doing everyday. The problem is getting there. I know that anything worth anything is worth fighting for, and that fighting for your dreams makes it more worthwhile in the end, but I can't help thinking that sometimes it'll only be that...a dream. I'm so busy at work that I barely have time to study for the MCATs, which are creeping up faster than I'd like to admit. Plus I doubt that my credentials are even good enough to get in. If I don't apply soon, it wastes another year. And I can't really count on Dynavax to provide me with job security. I barely survived the layoffs that occurred a week ago, and I know that if another round happens, I'm at the bottom of the totem pole. Biotech is great, but it's far from being remotely stable. The only really stable thing in my life right now is my love life. To clarify, that's my very stable lack of a love life.
Now before you get all preachy on me, I realize that there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single, and that plenty of people find happiness and are quite content without having the hassle of a significant other and all the commitments and obligations that come with the territory etc etc. It's not to say that I'm in desperate need of attention (though some of my friends have called labeled me as 'the desperate one'), but I do miss the companionship. Just the feeling that someone is there for you who really cares about you and your well being. I miss having that person who I can always count on, my rock that steadies me in the turbulent sea of life. Perhaps this was brought upon by my constant surrounding of married/engaged/spoken-for coworkers. Most of the people I work worth have their lives where they want them, and I'm struggling to keep up, to find my footing. But I must endure. God places the heaviest burdens on those who are capable of carrying the weight. It's a testament to our own strengths that we have the ability to carry on and persist when those around us fall. This roller coaster may have its ups and downs, but I guess when you hit rock bottom, the only place left to go is up!
It's a very tough world that we live in, and despite its total cliche-ness, it doesn't change the fact that it's true. As a young adult, whom has relatively little experience in the grand scheme of life, I can't help but feel that my naiveness is the crux for both my profound optimism and ignorance.
For the past week, I've felt several battles rage within me. The first, a war on the microscopic battlefield. An army of viruses vs. my army of killer T's, Macs, and B's...armed to the teeth with a plethora of antibodies. I suffered some casualties, but have since recovered. The other battle, didn't have such a clear cause and effect. It was one of those emotional roller coaster rides that you always hear about, but without any real trigger. Just little things here or there that'd make me really stop and think about the differences between what I want in life and what I'm getting in life.
One aspect of my life where I'm facing a "what I want vs. what I'm getting" struggle is regarding my hopes of becoming a doctor. It's one of the few things that seems so constant, so unwaivering, so steadfast. It's one of the few things that I believe I'd be good at, and something that I'd look forward to doing everyday. The problem is getting there. I know that anything worth anything is worth fighting for, and that fighting for your dreams makes it more worthwhile in the end, but I can't help thinking that sometimes it'll only be that...a dream. I'm so busy at work that I barely have time to study for the MCATs, which are creeping up faster than I'd like to admit. Plus I doubt that my credentials are even good enough to get in. If I don't apply soon, it wastes another year. And I can't really count on Dynavax to provide me with job security. I barely survived the layoffs that occurred a week ago, and I know that if another round happens, I'm at the bottom of the totem pole. Biotech is great, but it's far from being remotely stable. The only really stable thing in my life right now is my love life. To clarify, that's my very stable lack of a love life.
Now before you get all preachy on me, I realize that there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single, and that plenty of people find happiness and are quite content without having the hassle of a significant other and all the commitments and obligations that come with the territory etc etc. It's not to say that I'm in desperate need of attention (though some of my friends have called labeled me as 'the desperate one'), but I do miss the companionship. Just the feeling that someone is there for you who really cares about you and your well being. I miss having that person who I can always count on, my rock that steadies me in the turbulent sea of life. Perhaps this was brought upon by my constant surrounding of married/engaged/spoken-for coworkers. Most of the people I work worth have their lives where they want them, and I'm struggling to keep up, to find my footing. But I must endure. God places the heaviest burdens on those who are capable of carrying the weight. It's a testament to our own strengths that we have the ability to carry on and persist when those around us fall. This roller coaster may have its ups and downs, but I guess when you hit rock bottom, the only place left to go is up!
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on.
Through the fire and the flames we carry on.
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